whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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