Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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