either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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