He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize