Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize