I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I believe in your delicious
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize