they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize