My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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