I must be too annoying 4 u.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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