Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize