Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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