i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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