I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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