I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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