Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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