Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize