Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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