She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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