he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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