i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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