he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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