After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
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beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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