I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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