god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize