Got a toothbrush?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's always time for handjobs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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