Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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