The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
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dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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