Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im six kinds of drunk right now
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize