I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
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we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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