Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize