We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize