I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
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I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize