You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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