OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize