well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
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so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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