Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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