just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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