I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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