Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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