I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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