If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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