If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize