Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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