I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize