just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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