remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize