i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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