So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize