I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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