I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So much rum. So many feels.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize